You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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