I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
