I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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