When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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