Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
dude. I can hear the air.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
