Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
