What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize