he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
