I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
