All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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