did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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