I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
