oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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