VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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