Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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