I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize