I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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