Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
