Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
