I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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