i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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