I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
