I hate your face
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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