is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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