PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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