I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
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You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So. Much. Porn.
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