He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
