And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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