So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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