i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
