I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
