Pappa wants mamma naked
from now on my penis is your penis
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
