Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I am one with the molecules
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
