I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on