Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free

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  (303): This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free http://tfl.nu/nn6t
  Replies (8) Good night (3093) Bad night (745)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...

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  (304): apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training... http://tfl.nu/a5eu
  Replies (36) Good night (4290) Bad night (852)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.

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  (952): Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover. http://tfl.nu/sdyg
  Replies (15) Good night (4076) Bad night (1229)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.

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  (765): just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win. http://tfl.nu/bjq4
  Replies (17) Good night (9139) Bad night (1012)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.

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  (386): It's like God was speaking to me through a penis. http://tfl.nu/n7ui
  Replies (12) Good night (3467) Bad night (1213)
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  (310): View more from California

  You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.

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  (310): You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila. http://tfl.nu/3egv
  Replies (3) Good night (3296) Bad night (989)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.

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  (847): Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too. http://tfl.nu/lfcy
  Replies (6) Good night (3753) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar

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  (614): I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar http://tfl.nu/g47h
  Replies (7) Good night (1955) Bad night (1315)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?

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  (563): I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one? http://tfl.nu/bi5f
  Replies (11) Good night (1428) Bad night (940)
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  (631): View more from New York

  he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him

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  (631): he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him http://tfl.nu/2wji
  Replies (15) Good night (2220) Bad night (1163)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.

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  (219): I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell. http://tfl.nu/9drc
  Replies (19) Good night (1990) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building

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  (586): Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building http://tfl.nu/p9dh
  Replies (4) Good night (1260) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again

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  (228): I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again http://tfl.nu/bu4d
  Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster

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  (864): It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster http://tfl.nu/qctl
  Replies (4) Good night (508) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.

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  (919): It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds. http://tfl.nu/w9p4
  Replies (7) Good night (739) Bad night (281)

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