i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.