even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
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Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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