oh god the rape fog is back!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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