I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize