is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if only i could text you this smell
He kissed a someone with a penis
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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