you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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