The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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