i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
