Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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