its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
