i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
