How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
