Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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