oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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