I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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