The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I understand Curling. That high.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.