But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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