Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
