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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song

  Fav 13 4274 877

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.

  Fav 23 6343 969

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• (425): View more from Washington

  i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"

  (206): View more from Washington

  do it. it's every man's dream.

  Fav 28 7545 1217

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.

  Fav 12 1265 5338

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.

  Fav 14 1133 4067

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.

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• (562): View more from California

  So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch

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• (949): View more from California

  i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.

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