Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize