that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
