i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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