Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
