i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
