I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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