remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
