I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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