How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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