Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
