soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
