Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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