either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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