Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
