think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
