Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
