just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
